I feel it necessary to address the topic of fear especially in this global crisis we are facing with Covid19.
This is not addressing anything about the virus – but a way to inspire you to see that we choose a life of faith or fear and we get to choose how we go forward.
Something on Fear
Fact: You are born UNAFRAID
I will never forget my 18 hour long birth, no doctors, everyone still on holiday. My baby ready to enter this world.
My husband had to demand an anaesthetist to assist who trawled in 10 hours into my labour. My daughter was vacuumed, pushed and prodded and after an emergency Caesar she was born blue and not breathing.
This little 2.65kg baby, fought to be here, she was strapped to machines and drips and all kinds of scary things in the first week of her life. Her first exposure to this world was to a clinical hospital room with no knowledge of what was happening. The hardest part for me was having to leave my baby for observation and now go home with her in my arms. She developed Jaundice and had to stay on even further.
As a new mum, every fantasy of bringing my daughter home and with the perfect outfit and video and flowers and champagne – it didn’t happen. Instead I was riddled with stress, my body swollen and severely affected with post traumatic stress.
She came home on day 5 and we had to have a nurse to monitor her for another 5 days. During this time she had to sleep in a jaundice bed with straps – it was so hot and it was the middle of our summer.
I was determined to bond with my baby and breastfed her every chance I could, from Day 2 in Neo Natal ICU and throughout her treatment. She loved it. Hated the dummy / bottle and I knew this was my chance to bond with this amazing gift from heaven.
All I know is that Eden fought to be here, she will never remember how she fought to be here, but I will. What her resilience and courage taught me in my 30th year of life was that WE ARE TRULY BORN UNAFRAID. Our reality, our experiences and what we believe places fear within us. If my little girl fought fearlessly from day 1, I could fight fearlessly to conquer my fears and be the brave mum she needs.
That’s my promise to you my Eden. To be fearlessly all I can be, and on days I feel that I cant – I will always try to lean into my greatest reality in life – is that my faith is the only thing that grounds me and helps me achieve peace no matter how dull the world may be right now.
Stay safe and be fearless with faith!